In the noisy world, there’s an art that is losing its relevance. And that art is ‘The art of listening ‘. But why is listening called an art? Because listening is not as simple as it seems to us. Now you must be wondering how. Let’s understand this through an example.
Do you remember that time in our school days when our teachers used to say, Are you listening? or Listen, everybody? They used to use listen instead of hear. Now the answer to this is very simple and that is because listening means activating all our senses and processing the words said.
On the other hand, hearing means just to focus on the words uttered. But the very fact is that we usually used to hear what used to be taught in schools. That’s why we tend to forget what was being taught. Because there we are true hearers we are just grasping the words and not the intention behind that.
And when we are deep listening, we are true artists because it’s not a cup of cake to be an active listener. Only a true artist can embrace the art of listening. Mindful listening is a wide concept that we need to understand in detail.
What Listening Is All About?
1. Understanding Others.
- This is the primary and the most important stage of cultivating empathy through listening. There you need to understand others by giving them space.
- By letting them vent their feelings out, and making them feel comfortable. Even if you want to say something, do not interrupt them in between.
- Once they finish saying everything and feel lighter then you can start to say constructively. Believe me, they’ll understand better.
- It’s all about winning the trust of the other party and you can do so by just having active engagement in conversations. Active listening skills help in understanding the other side.
2. Listening To Unspoken Words.
- Usually, we pay attention to words that are said. But we don’t realize that these words are backed by feelings and emotions.
- We need to understand those emotions to strengthen emotional bonds. Because emotions can not be put into words but can be felt. And only a true listener can sense those hidden feelings. We need to understand where they are coming from.
- You know when we’re listening to a person that means we’re listening to 2 persons at the same time. The one who is uttering those words and the one who is there behind those words. So you need to understand the latter instead of the former.
3. Exercising The Art Of Questioning.
- You’re a brilliant listener when you’re curious to know more about that thing. Asking probing questions or the right kind of questions.
- Questioning itself is an art that you need to master if you want to understand what’s going on in somebody’s mind. Because then only you can understand what they mean.
- Creating a connection through listening is the best way where you can show your love and care to somebody.
- This even makes you grow as the more you listen, the more you understand, the more you understand, the better questions you’ll ask, and the better the questions you ask, the sharpen your mind will be.
4. Ruling Out Judgments.
- Before we start to listen to somebody, we need to empty our minds like a blank canvas and put ourselves in the speaker’s shoes. One needs to be completely unbiased and to listen from their perspective, not theirs.
- We cannot draw any conclusions based on their wording. We need to devote our 100% attention to understanding what’s going on in their minds. Read their mind, and why they say so.
- What we usually do is find their flaws, and point out their weaknesses. Our eyes become judgemental when they say something we don’t feel like. This will shut their mind and you’ll lose the connection with them.
Why Is Active Listening Important?
1. Strengthening Relationships Through Listening.
- These days we see a lot of relationships collapsing. Be it husband-wife, parent-kid, siblings, etc. And that’s all because everyone is ready to speak but nobody is ready to listen.
- Deep listening to the thoughts and understanding non-verbal cues of the speaker will make the speaker listen to us even more. And can eventually help in improving interpersonal relationships and save plenty of relationships.
2. Building Trust Through Listening.
- These days it’s hard to trust somebody. But this statement doesn’t go well with genuine listeners. It’s like a piece of cake for true listeners to gain somebody’s trust.
- How so? Because everybody out there wants to be heard and when they meet that one person, they just don’t wanna let that person go.
- We know that trust is an expensive thing that takes years or even decades to build. But it’s pretty ironic in the case of listeners.
3. Conflict Resolution Through Listening.
- Have you ever been in such a situation where the other person just hates you for a stupid reason? You probably have been. Because at some point in our life, we all go through this. And now when we try to fight back to defend ourselves, the situation gets even worse. So what’s the solution?
- Simply go to the person and let them empty their bucket. Once they’re done doing so then you can state your perspective. And believe me, they’ll understand that. And there are chances that they’ll become your fans too. Yes, I’m not kidding! And that is because effective communication fosters collaboration.
4. Exposure To New Learnings.
- The more we listen, the more insights we gain. You know, mindful listening is a choice we make. So undoubtedly empathetic listening is directly linked with growth.
- Because the more we listen, The more we grow. It expands our horizons and gives us new perceptions. We are meant to listen more than to speak. That is why we are given 2 ears and 1 mouth.
5. Problem-Solving.
- Our problem-solving skills are directly linked with our active listening skills. Because when we understand things better then only we can solve problems better. We all want to be quick problem solvers, Which can again only happen if you’re a good listener.
Listening is not a technique, it’s a way of life. If you want to embrace the art of living then you need to master the art of empathetic listening.
Wanna pass on this art to the coming generation? Then first listen to them. There won’t be a better way of developing a listening culture than this. We need to bring back this lost art.
Listening is contagious. If you listen to someone, then that someone will listen to another one and then the chain goes on like that. In deep listening, we need to make people feel understood, not known or seen.
Here’s one of my favourite quotes: Listen to a good listener, it’s pure gold.
When a person is speaking to us that doesn’t mean that they want any kind of advice. They simply want a person who can listen to them without any prejudices.
Mindful listening has the power to heal a person’s broken heart. Non-judgemental listening reserves your space in the speaker’s heart.